Where Are You Spending Your Money: A Challenge for You

Yesterday I spent my morning working in a new location. I traded my office chair for a vintage green chair. I traded my normal commute (walking down the stairs) for a car ride with my dear friend Emily into the Heights area of Houston. I opened my laptop in a place that matters and drank coffee that looked like art. 

seriously, this isn’t from an ad, this was my flat white captured with my iphone. 

Can I just stop for two-seconds and say that I love that I have friends who know my love language. I am talking about more than quality time here. My love language includes vintage, unique, stories and recently it’s places or products that promote social good. 

You see, we were not having coffee in a large conglomerate coffee shop, we were spending our morning working (serious we worked - it was so hard to not just sit and talk) at A 2nd Cup. 

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A 2nd Cup is a non-profit that raises money  and awareness to end human trafficking. According the to Department of Justice, Houston is one of the most intense regions for human trafficking. A 2nd Cup benefits organizations like Redeemed Ministries and Elijah Rising to help end human tracking and also to help women who have lived through tracking to flourish in a new life. {Love Language Alert}

As I was taking in all the sights and sounds of A 2nd Cup, a couple of questions bounced around in my head; one being, “Where am I spending my money?” 

This question has convicted me for most of the year, especially as I have “met” exceptionally talented individuals who are not using their God given talents to become millionaires, but to help others. They have found a need and bridged a gap. 

Today, I want to share with you a few that absolutely adore and then I have a challenge for you (and for me). 

WARNING: As you know, I normally prefer others to tell their story instead of me telling it to you and with that in mind, I have included videos for most of these organizations. This is a blog post that includes sound, so if you are at work or somewhere that you can’t view these I ask for you to please schedule a time to come back to this blog post. 

Little disclaimer for you: when I say “I know” or “I’ve met” or “my friend” please know that at the moment I typed this “I know” the women behind some of the companies through my day job, “I’ve met” meaning I probably had a phone call or email with them and “my friend” means we are so instagram friends - just to be clear with you. 

Let me start with a woman I have known (read “my friend”) since I opened my handmade business in 2013 (which is kind of closed - mine, not her’s). I am not sure at what point Rebecca Smith and I started interacting on Instagram, but I remember being in-love with her bags. Rebecca could have easily turned her design for a diaper bag into a sought after business that benefited just her family, but she saw a need and acted on it. 

You can find Rebecca and Better Life Bags here:

Website: https://betterlifebags.com/

Instagram: @rebeccasmithonline and @betterlifebags

These days you can find a key hanging around my neck that reads, “hope”. I received the key through my Spring Causebox (more on them later), but I have wanted one for almost a year. 

Like Rebecca’s story, I think this video is the best way to share The Give Keys’ story with you. 

I will wear my hope key until I am lead to pass it along - and that’s the whole idea. 

You can find The Giving Keys here

website: http://www.thegivingkeys.com/

Instagram: @thegivingkeys

As I have been on the search for talented people who have started new things to continue the Kingdom of God, I had the awesome opportunity to meet (see above) Liz Bohannon (and have an awkward, grace-filled phone call one afternoon when my internet decided to crash and I juggled working from home while being a mother of preschoolers). Liz is the power force behind Sseko Designs. 

You can find Sseko Designs here:

website: https://ssekodesigns.com/

instagram: @ssekodesigns

Now, let me get a little Texas local for you (not even Houston local, but Austin local - because that is where my head is until the end of September) and introduce you to a woman that inspires me to no end. Again, I have had the divine privilege to meet Sharla Megilligan through the conference I am planning. I remember find Makarios one morning, then watching the video below and thinking “I have got to meet her, even if she decides she won’t be a speaker at my conference”.

You can find Makarios and Dominican Joe’s Here: 

Website: http://www.makariosinternational.org/  and  http://www.dominicanjoe.com/

If you are in Austin, make sure to stop by Dominican Joe: 515 South Congress Ave (at Riverside Dr). 

A few months ago I found another way to support missions like the ones I have shared with you today and that is through the CAUSEBOX. This is a quarterly subscription box that delivers socially conscious items to your doorstep. I chose to start a CAUSEBOX subscription because, well, to be honest because they featured the Giving Keys, but also to find more companies that sell for a cause. And also to find non-profits, like Speak Your Silence, who’s stitch kit was included in my Spring Box. Now, this not the challenge that I mentioned above - this is just an option. You can sign-up to receive the Summer Box now by visiting their website: https://causebox.com/

My Challenge to you has two parts:

FIRST: I challenge you to think about where your money is going and to find more companies/organizations like I have shared with you today. I even found a link to help you along: http://busy-mommy.com/2014/12/150-social-good-companies-with-fair-trade-buy-one-give-one-products-or-who-donate-a-portion-of-proceeds.html

 Know, that this takes baby steps, there are still things that I spend money on that were massed produced, but I am making an effort to shift my thinking, to determine if places where I spend my money promote fair wages and ethical treatment while also empowering and giving back. 

SECOND: Go the extra step. Have you looked into how you can help the organizations you love? A 2nd Cup has a section on their website where you can “join the fight”: http://www.a2ndcup.com/join-the-fight by volunteer your time and talents. So, besides donations and being a customer, how can you dig-in, get involved and help out? 

I feel like since I’ve mentioned so much in this post, I should do a bit of self promotion and invite you to visit the website site for my day job with FiveTwo. FiveTwo is a network for any entrepreneurial man or woman who want to reach new by starting new - new business-as-mission, new neighborhood gather, new community development, new whatever. And the FiveTwo National Conference  IS where you get to come along side like minded people to hear from amazing individuals like Sharla Megillian and so many others. Again, I feel like I have been give such an amazing gift to be a part of this organization and hello, I get to “meet” awesome people for my day job (and wear yoga pants and no make-up). 

Find out more about the FiveTwo National here: http://beta.fivetwo.com/attend-the-conference/

Find Bright Stars in Your Darkness

As I was driving to the studio last night I was constructing  (and deconstructing) what my answer would be the question that somewhat haunted me:

What would I tell someone who was listening about how to get out of the muck of their life? If I was talking to someone who had totally lost hope, what would I say? What is one of the steps to help them move forward towards peace? 

What a question; It does put a lot of pressure on someone, but then again what a privilege to be able to share what has helped me with others. 

Want to know what came up again and again like a broken record that I could not stop?

Community. 

Friends. 

Support. 

Loving Relationships. 

And want to know what God did with my thoughts last night?

He confirmed them (not sure why I just read that with Forrest Gump’s voice)

Yesterday, I was loved on and prayed over. Jesus’ love just oozed out of my friends, my congregation and my family. 

On the way to the studio my phone illuminated with texts from my groupies, sitting patiently in their cars with their radios already tuned in. Even, my mom, was poised with her iPad ready for the live stream. 

I could feel every ounce of love and every powerful prayer yesterday. 

Jesus has a big part in my story, but you all, my friends, the ones who love and support me have such a large part, too. 

I could not have made it this far with you. 

From, my dear friend, Emily standing in a park with me over a year ago saying, “Oh, I want to hear all of your story” to Sarah making me cry by reminding me that it was her turn to sit with a goofy smile on her face as my voice played. To my dear friend, Sandi, who adamant that she would not miss my lifestream. And, Casey, my awesome cheerleader who made this interview happen. 

(I feel like I am accepting some sort of award)

I could go on for hours listing names and telling you all individually what your role was in this journey. 

The holy spirit was even working through the men a block away from the radio station. As my nerves were at an overwhelming level partially because we were running late (it’s a Bahn thing - heehee) there was a group of men cleaning windshields at the last stop light before our turn. One of them came over with his squeegee and drew a big heart on the windshield in front of me. I wanted to jump out and just hug him! I should have, but the light turned green and did I say we were late? 

But in that moment, that heart was such a sign - I was loved. I was loved by all of you and I was loved by my heavenly father. 

So, if you were to ask me today, what is one of the keys to getting out of the darkness? My top answer would be surround yourself with people who love you and aren’t afraid to show it. Find a community of friends who illuminate Jesus’ love all over you! 

As a wise man said yesterday in his sermon, Even a dim reflection of God’s love is a bright star in a dark night. 

Thank you all so much for being my bright stars! 

The Amazing Thing About Grace

I feel the most amazing thing about grace is that it will always feel like way more than you deserve. At least it does to me. 

I heard before (or so I think) that receiving grace helps you to give grace to others - you are changed, you get the big picture of it all, you understand the feeling of receiving such an undeserved gift. 

Let me tell you, I don’t only want to give grace to others, I want to give it as my friends have given grace to me. I especially want to love others as I have been loved by one dear friend. 

During the many discussions I had with Matt before I told my abortion story, I asked multiple times, “how will this effect my friends who have lost babies?” I have been touched by many women who have lost children, either through miscarriages or shortly after a child’s birth. I heard the stories, witnessed the heartache, seen the longing to just have a healthy baby to hold in their arms. Their stories always lead me to a place of shame - not by their doing, but by my own un-forgiveness of myself. “How could I have done this, when they had to go through that? How was I so ungrateful?” 

As I wrote my story one dear friend came to mind again and again. The always smiling, always cracking jokes couple that I have sat in the pew behind me for the past two years hold some serious heartache. I believe that Becky and I had friendship “love at first site” when we met and my heart broke each time I thought about sharing my story with her. You see, Eighteen years ago my dear friend and her husband buried a little boy, who was to be their middle child, after a stillborn delivery. 

Of all the people I know, I believe that Becky has a right to be angry at me, to be angry at my actions, to have issues with me and so many times I’ve wanted to tell her “I am so sorry for what I did.” Somehow typing that just now lead me to, “I should be apologizing for underestimating the holy spirit that lives in this woman.” Because let me tell you, she is filled with God’s love, filled, overflowing. 

I don’t cry every Sunday morning, but when I do I use an entire box of Kleenexes - kidding, somewhat. 

This past Sunday was out of the ordinary. I was given a heads up before the service began that there would be a topic discussed by my father in-law, but his sermon wasn’t directed at me. The topic was abortion since Sunday was “Life Sunday.” I am very thankful for these warnings and I quickly put on my armor, put up my wall. I even prepared Shelby since she was the only one in the pew next me. Things stung a little, a few tears rolled down my cheek. I knew that there was a scattering of friends sitting in the sanctuary who were thinking about me as the sermon when on, then I felt a tap on my shoulder and a folded offering envelope was passed over the pew to me. 

My heart. My first instinct was to climb over the pew and give Becky a huge hug, but I decided that a firm grip of her hand would probably be better received. After our embrace, her husband, Andy, grabbed my hand as well and I am telling you the flood gates were wide open. 

I don’t think I could ever do justice with words to describe how much their love means to me. How completely overwhelmed I am by their grace. The one couple who have every right to withhold their love have changed my life. I want to love others as they have loved me, I want to love them as they have love me! 

Amazing what grace does. 

Thank you guys for loving me even after knowing my unloveable parts. 

Oh So Thankful

Every year around this time I see daily posts on Facebook that document what someone is thankful for this month and then I always see these:

So, I refrain from the 30 days of thankfulness, not because I am not thankful for all the blessings in my life and not that I care what other people think of me (well not too much). Let’s be honest - I have ADD (seriously and for true) and have a HORRIBLE issue with not completing things (but please don’t tell that to my employer because I may have checked that box that says “completes all tasks assigned to me”). 

The last few days, though, have really led me to lift my hands up the to Lord and say “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” So, I feel like I really want to share some of my thankfulness as we get through the next few days. Please note though, I may write this post and be missing until next week because, again, I have an issue with the follow through. 

Today I am thankful for the community that God has placed me in - for my friends (old and new). 

Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold. A circle’s round, it has no end - that’s how long I want to be your friend.

Sorry, my mind lunges into song most of the time. 

As I moved last year from North Texas to Houston I thought I would never have relationships like I had with my girlfriends in North Texas. And part of that thought process is so true - the relationships I have in North Texas are so unique and can never been replaced, but God opened a door and gave me additional, new, deep relationships with women. That is what I am thankful for today. 

I am thankful to feel so at home, so comfortable, so loved and so free to be me (every broken edge) in my community. I am thankful for open homes, free flowing tears and warm embraces that we share. I am thankful for the realness, transparency and grace that these women poor out. 

I am also thankful for the wise (because hey they married amazing women) husband’s of these women. The strong leaders of our families, the brave men who put up with our craziness and pass boxes of Kleenexes around the room as we cry for each other. 

It really is crazy how God masterminds our relationships, giving us just what we need, just when we need it . I am so thankful for his timing. I love you my dear friends! 

And just because:

The Peach that Surpasses All Understanding

So, did you notice the typo in my post earlier today? Did you? I didn't and I read it TWICE! This is why I need someone to edit for me.

Let me just say I am very lucky to have two best friends who keep me real! And love to group text! It's like they are right here in the room and not four hours away.

Anyway, thought I'd share that with you! Hope you have a Peachy Thursday Afternoon!

Aren't Y'all happy I blocked out your last name but still kept your duckface pictures? Heehee. That's what friends are for!  Love you!

Saving Money: Thrifting

Thrifting: 

the act of shopping at a thrift store, flea market, garage sale, 

or a shop of a charitable organization, usually with the intent 

of finding interesting items at a low price.

Thrifting is something that is not new to me at all. I started thrifting in my early 20s when I became obsessed with all things vintage - actually that obsession started years earlier, but normally I'd pick up things at garage or estate sales. 

I've been knowm to find most of my clothes (and the girls' clothes) while thrifting, but lately it's been more crafting and home decor that has filled my goodwill cart. 

So, you ask how is this saving you money? Well, let's look at last night. I had had a rather cruddy day dealing with a major sinus headache (thanks to Texas weather) and the girls were all cranky. JAG came home and I said, "I just need to get out of the house." Normally, that statement would result in us lapping around the local mall and potentially spending up to $100, but last night JAG thought it would be best for me to run up the he closest thrift store alone - he knows me well. 

It was a good day at my local Texas Thrift. I picked up six items for a whopping total of $19! 

Flor de lis tote: $1.98 - I may add something to this and resale...or I may kept it. 

Two pillow cases: 99 cents each - possibly vintage, not sure, but these will be cut up and made into crafts. 

Two cross stitch pieces (my new obsession - JAG doesn't get it).

 The house was 99 cents and the Iris was 79 cents.

My biggest bargain of the night was this toddler bed

For the past week I've been searching Craig's List of Bekah a toddler bed.

 I was finding them for $50 to $200. This one was marked at $24, but it has a blue tag 

and yesterday was 50% off blue tags so it was just $12! I did a happy dance and snatched it up quickly. 

It needs to have the side rail put back on and a little tightening. I may paint it a cute yellow or turquoise. This has been my most excited thrift purchase yet and it saved me a ton of money. 

Last Friday I had a day out with my girl friends and all we did was thrift. 

I know - what am I doing? 

It's a cross between a hunch-back and a rapper pose - don't ask me, but it's not pretty. 

We had a blast, as we normally do together, getting started with a pot of coffee at 9 am. 

We hit a half dozen places, had lunch and cupcakes. 

I fit in well with these crazy women. 

I was able to take Morgan and Bekah with me.

I am blessed to have friends who love my girls as much as I do and will stand with them even if they are getting crabby as I check out. Thank you Michelle!

And also thank you for giving Morgan her first taste of chocolate icing. 

She loved it! - that's my girl!

At the end of the day I spent about $78 which is good shopping with these ladies. 

I came home with a haul that included

Milk Glass - JAG can't stand it, but I love milk glass. 

A galvanized tub which now holds toys in my living room.

A wooden tool box. My friend, Kelly, scored me a deal on this and the tub. This will be white washed and sold or gifted. I'll post all about my crafting later. 

A cute yellow shelf and plastic basket wall pockets for the girls' room

Old wooden pants hangers. Have you seen how they are used on pinterest? I'll show you soon.

Doilies, vintage table clothes and sheets. Crafty Crafty Crafty.

Amber glasses for 99 cents each! After I bought these I found them in an antique mall for $6 each. I've been after these since my trip to Branson last Summer. This color remind me of my Meme. I also have them in green which I picked up at an estate sale, but amber is great for Thanksgiving. 

A Melissa and Doug puzzle for $2 and green shorts for Bekah. 

An adorable teal metal flower. 

I have to say I showed a ton of restraint even though I probably didn't need to milk glass or amber glasses, but just think of the future tablescapes. I did pass up some lovely dishes because I knew JAG would die if I brought in another set - I have enough to feed an army. I always say you never know what pattern you will need - I blame it on my Aunt Becky, sorry, but you were the one that started all this madness and I know that you have dished boxed up just waiting to pass along to me. 

Thrifting brings me joy. It's fun to get out and find a bargain or something that you know that none of your friends will have. It's also great fellowship with you girlfriends, at least it is with mine. We all have our own style and you could hear us screaming across the store "Oh look what I found for you over here!"

Morgan's Baptism

Morgan's Baptism was on April 21st. We had a private baptism at 5 with a dinner to follow. 

Both of my younger girls are blessed to have their grandfather (JAGdad) baptism them. It's a tradition that will mean so much to them when they are older. 

Each one of my girls have this little lamb print with their baptism date. I love them. 

Us with JAGdad and Morgan's sponsors: Pastor Bill and one of my best friends, Quenby.

The family. 

This is Sue. We call her Granny-Sue. I could spend an entire week writing about this woman. She is means the world to me and to my girls. She gifted Morgan with her bonnet which is actually a handkerchief that she will carry on her wedding day. JAG and I actually had a strong debate over naming Moran after Sue - Morgan Sue, but we went with Lynne to honor JAG's grandmother. 

Morgan and her Godfather

Morgan and her big sister

Morgan and her Godmother

Now on to the celebration!
I knew I wanted to use the burlap and lace theme. Lace is expensive so I threw some pink in.

Cake table with banner

I debated on a dessert table or cake. Cake was a last minute decision and I picked this one up at Sam's the day before.

Instead of a guest book I had everyone write a message and a scripture verse on a small doilies card (created by my friend Laura's mother). I plan to attach them into a book for Morgan.

I created the scrap banner - It probably could have used an ironing, but turned out better then I thought.

For center pieces I kept it simple with Mason jars, burlap and paper doilies.
My girlfriends' daughters helped arrange baby's breath and carnations in the large jar before the event.

We had about fifty people attend and served brisket with all the fixings.

Morgan and her grandfather.

And I could not have pulled it off without these women.
They helped me pick out the right shoes.
Set up tables
Dealt with the caterer
Helped dress Morgan
Helped clean up afterwards
Washed many a white tablecloth after the event
and just kept me sane.
They mean the world to me!

It Stinks, but that's Life.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13

It was easy to type, but harder to do this morning. I personally find that it’s people closest to you that can hurt you the most by their words and actions.

I’m having trouble finding the words to describe the hurt I faced this weekend – hurt that was heaped upon me by someone close to me. It would be so much easier for me to just air all my dirty laundry in this situation, but I don’t feel that would make things better.

So, I’m being told by JAG and by the Holy Spirit that I must be the bigger person. I must see that when people are hurting they have a tendency to lash out and hurt other people. My hesitation and my fear is am I seeing today the truth of who this person is or is this just a manifestation of the sadness and stress in this person’s life?  That is the difficulty I am pondering. If it is the truth of who this person really is then I am not sure if this is the right fit for me.

I find myself thinking

Wow, has she always thought this about me and is just now getting up the nerve to unleash it on me?

Has she been nicer to me then what she actually is and I am just now seeing how truly mean should could be? Can I handle it if she is that mean? Is that the type of person I want to get close to?

But back to forgiveness – I still must forgive that this person hurt me. Then from there I proceed with caution, right? I just can’t believe that in a short period of time – in one tacky text message my friendship was altered. She made the comment and I altered the friendship in protection of myself – my heart.

I wish, as with many of my posts, that I could sum it up with some this up with some words of wisdom – a final this is what I did and it worked, but I am stuck in the middle of this uncomfortable funk and all I can do is forgive the actions that were done to me and pray for guidance. It stinks, but that’s life.

89th

Today is my Meme’s 89^th Birthday. It is another one of  those bitter-sweet days. I could sit here and list out the 89 things I miss and love so dearly about her, but I have done enough crying this week. 

I think every year since her disease reared its ugly head I have missed her cards most. You could always count on a Meme card in the mailbox for your birthday and other holidays. I always wished for them to have money – they never did. Now I cherish the ones I have because they have her…all of the God Bless you and Meme loves you sentiments – urgh…now I am crying. I lectured my mom this morning on not getting emotional and now look at me. 

On this my Meme’s 89^th birthday here are all the posts I have written about her through the years. Oh man how I love this woman and miss her so much!

You can read about the day in 2010 when I was just overwhelmed by my grandmother’s disease and I also included the Alzheimer’s prayer: HERE

When I cried during Shelby’s baptism because I knew how proud my Meme would be: HERE

My debate on whether I should get genetic Alzheimer’s testing: HERE

Her 88^th Birthday: HERE

Begging for Just Five Minutes of Clarity: HERE

The Visit that Means the World to Me: HERE

I know it’s hard and I know it’s sad, but I am blessed beyond belief for every moment of clarity I have had with her over the past 4 years. I am also blessed with the years I had before – the long talks and the lessons I have learned. I am lucky beyond all measure. 

Last year in the middle of my pregnancy we lost my Meme’s best friend Fran. At the time I could not bring myself to write anything about her and their long friendship. It may be hard to understand, but I was relieved that Meme didn’t know  -that she didn’t have to feel the pain of losing her best friend. 

I have years and years of fond memories of Fran – since I was always the tag-a-long at their events and lunches. I believe Fran was at my graduation and I know she was there for baby shower with Shelby. She was always like another grandmother. 

I am so happy that Meme had a true friend to the end with Fran and I cherish the memories they have left for me in pictures from all their travels. 

Now that I have fully depressed you please remember to tell the people you love that you love them and please please please live your life to its fullest…I know these two beautiful women have! 

I Did Something Stupid

Can you say that about something you really felt passionate about at the time? Is it really stupid or just another lesson learned?

I picked a scab from a scar that still has not fully healed. I attempted to go back, re-open a chapter and start again.

Are you tired of me leading you on?

If you remember a few years ago I posted about closing a chapter with my once best friend, Sara. You can read it here.

Well, urgh, I attempted (again) to repair our relationship. I sent a long email explaining where I had been and where I am now and kind of selling myself to her.

Now over a week later –no response, no repair, nothing. I think I got all caught up in the what ifs, the what was and the what it should have been. I got lost in the daydream of my new baby playing with her new daughter. Dinner parties and girl’s nights filled my head and I couldn’t think of anything else.

You, know, it’s kind of more that that. A few months ago one of my favorite people, Kelle Hampton, wrote a wonderful entry about the Net – you can read it here. Net is what Kelle calls her group of friends because they were always there to catch her when she fell. That entry, long before the hormones were full blast, had me in tears.

You see at one point in my life I believe I had a Net. I had a tight group of girl friends that were together for everything –that stood by each other and supported each other. I would have never imagined losing my Net.

I will not going into a bitter rampage of how I lost four close girlfriends when Sara and I broke-up – oh I am trying my hardest to not hold bitter feelings. I blame no one – I think things just happen. I needed my net – actually I needed my best friend, but that wasn’t going to happen.

I feel stupid because I keep trying to mend something that I don’t think could ever be mended. Not because her feelings got hurt because, as I said Friday, I did everything that people didn’t want me to do. I am not sure I could never fully mend my Net – I fell and no one was there to catch me. Again, I am really trying to build a bridge (as someone close to me always said) and get over it. Think that the unanswered email helped.

It is so hard, which I am sure you can understand to end 20+ years of friendship in one phone call in the middle of my “I am leaving my husband” melt down. Agree with my choices or not at that moment I needed someone to say “you know I love you and even though I don’t agree at all with what you are doing I want to talk you through this.”

That was three years ago and life goes on. I will go on. I have a pretty strong net of friends and family – I know if I fall I will be caught and supported. I just feel stupid for trying, again.

For Holly: I know that you and I probably would still be as close if you had not have moved. Incase you are reading this I want to make sure you know that I have no hard feelings towards you what so ever. I am actually to the point where I have no hard feelings towards anyone.