My Dear Husband,

It is okay to say, "Seven years ago today I lost my wife of 11 years to cancer and today sucks."

On November 29th it is okay

to say this is not how I planned my life to be

to miss her far more than the other 364 days of the year

to think about her more than me, it's okay

to be angry about the circumstances today

to cry today

to live in the what-ifs

to eat your weight in chocolate

to lose yourself in the quiet ride home

or to lose your temper with someone in rush-hour traffic

to have a bad day

to shutdown (but just today, please)

to not shower, oh wait, you already have. It would be okay if you had not.

to stay in bed all day

Today, it's okay to miss her.

It's okay to hurt.

It's okay to cry (did I say that twice, because you know me - I'm crying today)

It's okay to show the world that life royal sucks sometimes and no matter how many blessing you are given, losing someone you love so much never gets easier.

My dear husband, it's okay to grieve.

Nicole "Nici" Bahn
July 20, 1975 - November 29, 2009