Fourteen Years Ago

Wow. 

Well, that pixelated mess does not hide the hugeness that was my belly 14 years ago today. 

This, my dears, is what happens when you work in the weight-loss industry for years, then get pregnant and get over excited about the fact that you can now eat ANYTHING (and I guess everything). I don’t suggest it because in the end you gain 68 pounds…some of which I feel I am still carrying with me after all these years. 

Five years ago I wrote about Shelby’s birth story: 

http://danaraeb.blogspot.com/2010/09/nine-years-ago-today_12.html 

http://danaraeb.blogspot.com/2010/09/nine-years-ago-today_13.html

I wrote those before giving birth to two more beautiful girls and I guess today as I look at myself 14 years ago the only thing I know to say is 

Hang on girl…you just thought this pregnancy changed your life - just wait until that girl is placed in your arms. That little bundle of joy is going to change EVERYTHING!  But do not fear because those changes are AMAZING! God is giving you the best gift ever and He will be with you during the good times and the bad, but you need to keep your head up and remember that. 

Oh man, I could go on a tangent as I talked to that 23 year old standing in the middle of her parent’s living room. 

I would tell her that 

this will not break you. 

that you are still amazing. 

that you will still go on to do great things. That a crisis pregnancy is not the end of you being you. 

that you are forgiven and that you are loved. 

that you CAN raise a little girl on your own and that leaning on your parents is not a disgrace - it’s giving them an opportunity to show you love. 

that your tears are not over, but they will change. They change from heartbreak of your situation to joy. You will cry when that girl has her first dance recital. You will cry when that girl is baptized. You will cry when she receives awards. You will cry as she faces her first heartbreak. And let me tell you that you will full out ball till you can’t breathe when she states her faith during her confirmation. You will cry as she walks off to her first day at High School. And you will most definitely cry as you write about your love for your first born.