I May Dislike Mornings, but I am Still Blessed

Conversation in the car last night:

Me: I need to write

JAG: yes you do. What do you need to write about? Pregnancy?

Me: What about it? How I am tired? How I hate your alarm that you hit four times in the morning. How I woke up this morning with raging hormones thinking “I hate me life.”

Yeap, I thought it most of Monday morning, but it’s not true. I don’t “hate” my life. I just fully despise Monday mornings.  Also, even though I still have six months to go, I cannot stand pregnancy hormones.

I am mean…mean…mean. I told JAG this morning after he hit is alarm for the second time, “I need to roll on my right side, but I don’t want you facing me so roll over.” Poor guy. I get so angry in the mornings. A lot of it has to do with the fact that he can get out of bed walk across the room hit snooze, come back to bed and being fully asleep snoring within two seconds. By the time I feel myself falling asleep his dang alarm goes off again! I have stop myself from saying “Just get your lazy self out of bed already and don’t you dare roll over here and hug me.” I also can’t stand being touched right now…it’s like that for the entire pregnancy normally. Actually, I think the meanness lasts the entire pregnancy too. Poor JAG.

If you think I’m moody you should meet Shelby these days. Oh man she is embracing 11 with a full load of pre-teen hormones. Last night I watched the end of her cheer practice and was a little disappointed. After three years (and a chunk of her momma’s money) she was still doing cheers with sloppy arms. It kills me when she knows how to do something correctly, but refuses. I didn’t go all cheer mom on her, but when we go in the car I said “your coach said you are doing great and she is not concerned about you miss two practices next week, but girl your arms are sloppy.” She said she knew and it was because “you were there. Next time you can come, but just don’t look at me.” Really?

Then this morning in the car on the way to middle school Shelby said “I can’t stand school.” Yikes, we are only three weeks in. I started questioning her as to why. Is she being bullied? Are her classes too tough? No to the bullying – thank goodness. Her response was “I just hate it. I hate every period from first to eighth.” Oh how I would love to fix this for her by pulling her out and homeschooling, but I really don’t think she would like that too much either. When we get in these conversations I am at a loss. I loved school until late junior high and that was due to bullies in a new school. I loved to learn when I was Shelby’s age so it’s hard for me to understand why she is facing this now.

Usually, I face this “I don’t like school” in the spring, not three weeks into the school year. I am just going to continue to talk to her about the situation and maybe I can get to the root of the problem.

Again, I wish I had some wise motherly words of wisdom on how to get over pregnancy hormones and deal with an 11 year olds’ dislike of the sixth grade. I guess I’ll put one foot in front of the other and continue with my day.

I will listen to Shelby, I will breathe more, pray more and try to be nicer to my poor husband. Yes, mother, I will try to be nicer to poor JAG…you know this hormone thing is 50% his fault. I guess I am blessed that he finds my snarky attitude cute and humorous…at least I think he does.  

I don’t hate my life…I just dislike mornings and anytime that I’m not sleeping. God has blessed me beyond measure and I am thankful for every ounce of attitude I get from my daughter and every ounce of sickness I feel due to this new baby.