Freaking Out, but don’t worry…it will be ok

I am sorry I have been such a bad blogger. It seems every time I go to type there is nothing to say or I feel like I am not being witty enough.

In all honesty I am a little flipped out this week. If you haven’t heard JAG and I got our wish. Yeap my number five of 20 Ideas that Will Make 2011 Awesome, More Awesome Than 2010 Even! is coming true. JAG and I are expecting!!! We are going to have a baby! We are due in October, so being in my first trimester is kind of freaking me out – do we all go through this?

Beside that normal freakout it dawned on me yesterday just how old JAG and I are – not that we are acing like it. I did a little math in my head and shared it with JAG.

Me: wait! Do you realize that when this baby is 16 you will be…wait…oh no you will be 50!

JAG: I know isn’t it going to be awesome.

Me: and that means…that means I will be 49. oh no. Then when Shelby is 16 this child will be 6. We will have a 6 year old and a 16 year old.

I am really not sure what he said after that because I fell into freak-out mode. I am sure he said “it’s going to be awesome” with this big smile.

There are people everyday who have children in their 30s. My mother had me when she was thirty. Do most people have their first child at 23 then wait ten whole years to have another baby? I know nothing anymore. I have one small Rubbermaid container of baby clothes that I have held onto just in case. I saved just the best things going through it each year, but not being able to part with it. That is it – some cute outfits – no bed, no swing, no bouncy seat.

What have I gotten myself into? Don’t get me wrong I want this baby – we want this baby very very much, but while we are talking about the age of 16. Do you realize that when this child is 16, Shelby will be 26? She will be out of college, she could be married, and I could be a grandmother. A grandmother and a mother of a 16 year old, oh man.

Not only that, JAG and I have plans for more. I hear you mother “let’s get through this one first.” I know I hear you.

I know that some people would be excited to have an extra set of hands there to help, but why am I sad (hormones)? Just the thought of Shelby being 20 when this child is only 10 – my baby girl will be all grown up. Urgh…hormones…sorry.

We are very excited, pretty nervous and still kind of in shock. Even though we planned this baby I don’t think either one of us thought it would be this easy.

My promise to you is to not go all baby crazy on this blog – that is almost the same promise I gave you about the wedding. While I will keep you updated this will not turn into baby central. I am still me I just have a baby taking up a little space in me.

Speaking of space – another freak-out bear with me – I gained 68 pounds with Shelby. If I do that with this baby – well I can not even share that number with you, so you will see some healthy eating happening  and I will make sure to share some recipes because now I want to cook like crazy and sew and take pictures. I think my mommy hormones are going over board.

Thank you for everyone who was praying for us to get our wish – our prayers were definitely answered. Please – if it’s not too much – keep us in your prayers these next nine months – especially these first three.