Over Thinking it...

I have had four different blog topics in my head since Friday, but have either been over thinking it or just have not been motivated at all. So, I think the only way to get all these thoughts out is to be random again!

Let’s start with the word of the day! THANKFUL! The definition of thankful is conscious of benefit received. I am so thankful! I am thankful to have such a wonderful daughter even though at times she challenges me far beyond the limits I could have ever believed I could go. I am thankful for some awesome friends (reminder to myself to tell you about two of my friends that are in another state). I am thankful for JAG of course and all the wonderful things he has brought to my life. As I have said before I am thankful for unanswered prayers in my life.

Oh! Almost forgot!!! I am thankful for BLOGS! Did you know that I read blogs? I am some what addicted! I get motivation, inspiration and laughter from the blogs I read on a daily basis. I have updated “the blogs I read” on the right. I have been consumed with blogs about families. I love a good blog with good stories and awesome pictures. I love blogs about families…usually for some reason families with four or more children. I guess I have a craving for a big family (reminder to self…tell you about me coveting family pictures).

Speaking of family! My father has a PET scan scheduled for tomorrow. I was very happy to hear that. I had been pretty much begging for it since all of this started. That is good thing…well none of this is a good thing, but it is good that he is getting that scan. My hope is that we finally find the source of this so we can hit it head on. My father hasn’t been feeling well. The work they did in his mouth has caused him to not be able to eat solid foods. That would make anyone a little crabby. This week he is meeting with someone at MD Anderson to start a stop smoking program…this is when I am grateful that we are 8-hours apart. He is going to be a bear! We will see what happens. I feel like I still avoid the topic quite a bit, but I have heard (from JAG) that’s normal. If he doesn’t start chemo then they will be in town this weekend. Which means I need to get my house straightened and cleaned.

My house should and will be an entire blog entry. Let’s just say…I shouldn’t have bought it or that is what I am feeling this week. I think that eve though it is confirmed since the shooting that I do live in the ghetto my house doesn’t have to look like it. I would like my house to be the nicest on the block – that is a goal.

Oh goals or should I say the to-do list. I have had a list running in my mind for weeks and recently I have put it on paper (after JAG pointed out I had mentioned it at least ten times). Today I read this blog on focus. Shawni picks on area to focus on per month. Sorry Shawni, but since I am already in March I will have to start that next month. I can understand how this would help. Here is what I have on my lists of goals or to-dos so far:

(in no particular order)

• Landscaping: need to clean our flower beds and possibly plant. Has to be something I can keep alive.
• Do something with my mothers old desks that are now in my carport.
• Clean out the carport
• Make Shelby’s room livable look like she cleans it.
• Get Shelby involved in a church.
• Find a home church again (blog topic worthy)
• Finish the five books that I really want to read, but can’t seem to finish.

I am sure I will add to this as the days go by. I really have a ton of things I want to complete before I start school this summer. I want to be organized! I read this statement somewhere (probably on a blog): Making your house a home…staying put, the old-fashioned way. I really want that…now if things continue with JAG I know that I will be faced with selling my house, but that would be selling it for a good cause. The good cause would be starting a new home with him.

Speaking of JAG…I am sick with happiness lately. I know it is probably just as sickening to you. Sometimes I think that my goals for us are too lofty for this early in the game. I also think I daydream too much. I try to keep those thoughts to just dreams, but some of them get discussed. Like the subject of children. JAG and I made it clear to each other during our very first conversation that we both wanted more children. Now I am not going to rush anything just to have more kids, but lately I have been coveting family pictures. I know…I know, but look at them…

I can’t believe that I am admitting that I have been saving other people’s family pictures for the past two weeks. I don’t know where most of these came from…they were just found as I was looking through blogs.

It’s odd because I had come to the realization that I would not marry again and I would have no more children. I thought that was God’s plan for me…still could be, but meeting JAG has really opened my eyes and taught me that is not the way it has to be. I can have the family I dreamed of when I was 14.

Side note… I am so glad I don’t Vlog because I have been so ADD with this entry. Then you would see how I type two lines then move to blog surfing or working (yeah you know that thing that I do to make money).

Work! Can’t stand it lately mainly to due to an awful client, an awful co-worker and it not being my calling. I am doing my best to not follow into the gossip trap at work. I recently read in A Woman After God’s Own Heart that I should post this question somewhere where I can see it – Is it true, is it kind, is it helpful? URGH!!!!! It is normally true, normally not kind, but it would be helpful if she knew how big of a hypocrite she was. Ok…done with that topic.

I think I have rambled enough for today…this has taught me I need to blog more often and not hold things.